Poor Red Sox Fans

I never thought I would say this, but I actually feel sorry for Red Sox fans - poor, demented, and sad Red Sox fans. It seems that despite their team’s recent accomplishments, they simply cannot remove this twisted obsession that they have with the NY Yankees.

Isn’t it pathetic what some of these Red Sox loyalists will do? What’s next? Planting Manny Ramirez’s dreadlocks in the new stadium outfield? Sewing Schilling’s bloody sock into the new stadium flag? Is there no end to this mad fixation that these fans have?

But then I got to thinking that maybe there actually is a good reason for this never-ending Red Sox Nation angst. While it’s true that the Sox have won 2 of the last 4 World Series, they have a total of 7 World Series titles – compare that to the Yankees 26 – 26!!!! In order for the Red Sox to surpass the Yankees, they would have to win every World Series for the next 20 years in a row!!! Does anyone out there really think that’s going to happen?

I guess what it comes down to is this: Yanks are always going to be number 1, and Red Sox will always play second fiddle – and deep down inside every Sox fan knows that. That’s why they resort to such stupid antics as what we heard about earlier this week. I’ll put it simply – that Yanks are Coke while the Sox are Pepsi, the Yanks are Mozart while the Sox are Salieri, the Yanks are the Beatles while the Sox are the Stones, the Yanks are McDonalds while the Sox are Burger King – and on and on. The Sox may be good, but they will never be the NY Yankees – no team will.

So Sox fans, my advice to you is stop burying shirts, cheering attacking hawks, bulldozing old houses, and just accept the truth. Or you could just become Yankee fans.

Now let’s kick some Sawx butt tonight!